#AbahsDiary: The Meaning of Sacrifice for Young Husbands

Ameen Misran / June 3, 2017, 02:06:21 am

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A young husband may not be the most perfect husband in the world, but he tries to be perfect.
Every morning, this young husband, still in his early years taking on the mantel of ‘husbandship’, works from 9am to 5pm five days a week, to earn a monthly salary to maintain a small family of him and his pregnant wife.

Living in the big city where congestion is rampant, he rides a motorcycle every day to slip past in between cars and to reduce his costs for fuel despite a verbal ban by his mother to not ride a two-wheel vehicle prone to road calamity.

The money he earns is not for the luxury of him but for the family. The wife works too, but the money she gets is for her spending and her spending alone.

That monthly wage of RM3000 is barely enough. Some months when unexpected incidences occur, if his monthly wage can’t pay, he has no choice but to seek financial aid from his wife. When he receives the payment of the following month, he will pay back the money his wife has lent.

This young husband may not be the most charming husband in the world, but he tries to be charming to his woman.

He tries his best to fulfill his wife’s wishes and needs. If his wife’s shoes are worn out, he buys her a new pair. If his wife requires a new set of clothes, he buys her new ones. If his wife has peculiar food cravings, he will ride his motorcycle regardless of weather-condition, to buy the food for her.

When his wife is sick at irregular hours before dawn, he sends her to any reachable 24-hour clinics to get medical attention. His wife gets a medical certificate of a one day off, but he still has to ride his bike to work despite the lethargy.

Sometimes his wife wishes to go travel at a dream place she has been wanting since she was a child, the husband tightens his belt to save his monthly money and plans a possible road trip for vacation.

He tries to continuously impress his wife. He remembers his wife’s important life events and frequently seeks presents of her liking usually almost anything made up of the pink or pinkish red color: pink spoons, pinkish red wireless mouse, pink pens, pink knives and anything pink you can find on the market.

He never complains his wife’s cooking. He never demands his wife to cook. If the wife is too tired to cook, the husband will ride his motorcycle and buy food from the nearest restaurant.

Sometimes the husband feels like impressing his wife despite being a lousy cook, he cooks a simple meal for to dine.

The husband washes the clothes and put them for drying, sweeps the floor, takes care of the dishes because his pregnant wife can’t do all that. Even if his wife is not pregnant, he will do the same as that was taught by his mother.

He understands that women sometimes have unusual mood swings which he cannot fathom. Hence, he has never yelled or be angered at his wife despite the mood swings.

When his wife complains about a certain issue, he listens to them tentatively and reacts accordingly without any reactionary response. Reacting negatively will only result in misfortune.

He treats his wife as his equal, she is his BFF neither superior nor inferior, and she is his place he shares his problems with, his dream with, his life with.

His father wrote to him this:

“When the school attire is worn out, Papa asks Mama to buy new ones for the children and for mama, even though Papa wears his same old pair, Papa says okay.
When Papa witnesses his children’s marriage, no one cares how Papa feels crying to let go of his children, Papa says okay.
When the children hug Mama, showing affection to Papa not to Mama, Papa keeps quiet, Papa says okay.
When Papa’s children score good grades, Papa cries happy tears alone in his room, without others knowing, Papa says okay.
When Papa’s children call to home saying they miss Mama, but doesn’t call Papa, Papa is sad but it’s okay as long as Mama is happy, Papa says okay.”

Now he understands a bit the subliminal meaning why his father wrote to him like that.
He is there to be the caretaker of his wife.
His wife is the caretaker of the children.

“As long as Mama is happy, then it’s okay.”