#AbahsDiary: Love Doesn’t Come at First Sight

Ameen Misran / June 3, 2017, 02:06:18 am

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I stumbled upon an article stating a rather peculiar statement “One of the myths of having a child, love doesn’t come at first sight.”

That was before I was blessed with my first born.
To many of us, having a child is one of life’s most fulfilling accomplishment.

“You are best thing that ever happened in my life” as many would put it.

We counted the days of pregnancy since the first moment you found out your wife is not on period, to hearing your child’s heart-beat through the doctor’s Fetal Doppler, to checking the child’s gender, to regular check-ups, to helping your wife in the sleepless nights’, vomits, leg cramps, moody fights, to the intense life and death struggle in the labor room, to hearing your child’s maiden cry for the first time.

You went through all that with the anticipation of love to your child.
Yes. The statement “love doesn’t come at first sight” as weird as it might sound, has some degree of truth behind it.

As a father, who aided his wife full-time from the moment she was admitted to a general hospital, to meeting her only during visiting hours, tired but soldiered on staying awake during the long hours in the labor room providing support moral support to his wife to keep pushing and pushing over the hour, stayed awake until the next day to make sure the new born baby is cared by the hospital committee, went through 40 days of confinement of sleepless nights up until 4 months and have to work the next morning, love doesn’t come just like that.

That is the fathers’ side of the story, mothers experience pain on a whole new level since they are the ones went through life and death to give birth. Then comes breast-feeding where, my wife said is far more tiring than pregnancy.

We have that feeling of love, but it is sometimes hindered by the feeling of lethargy and work stress quadrupled with “Why my baby doesn’t want to sleep? Why can’t he stop crying? I have to work tomorrow; I need rest”.

We all know the answer to that. A new born baby, just entered this world, is puzzled to what kind of world he is in, very different than the comfy bubble of serenity of mother’s womb. We can’t expect the new born to be like us. We, in fact were like that once.

A successful handling of stress helps with building patience, emotional endurance, time management, multi-tasking.

But an unsuccessful handling of stress may result in tragedy. At the moment of anger, distress and exhaustion, a father or a mother may do unthinkable actions. Such is the case of a new born being thrown out by her mother from an 18-storey apartment hitting the ground.

The mother claims to have being left by her husband since two-years ago (read more here http://www.astroawani.com/…/bayi-tidak-cukup-bulan-dicampak…).

Being a parent is tough. But it is a chance to be better in life, to not succumb to emotion, to anger, to stupidity but to find a way to manoeuvre around for a solution.

Your love to your child grows slowly following your child’s progress. You see your child learn to babble “Ta teh, ta teh” then “ba ba ba” then “abba abba” then “abah abah”, you see your child struggle to crawl, you see how curious he is at things around him.

Such a beautiful sight of nature.

Bearing one child is challenging enough, how about handling 7 children of different “perangai”?